Currently writing to you from my lovely seat on my flight to see B. I have the whole row to myself, which if you travel, you know this never happens. So I am nice and comfy and sprawled out and I thought, “What better opportunity to write a bit about long distance love, than when I am smack in the middle of a flight to see my man?”
Although I already have posts about when your man is an athlete and different packages I send to B, I wanted to give you a bit of background into my own LDR ( I will be using this instead of the full ‘ long distance relationship’ because it’s just so many letters to type haha ) and some insight into specific ways that Brandon and I handle it and how we have successfully and happily been doing it for more than half of our 3 year relationship. Wow that was a long sentence! 🙂
I feel it’s important to give you all some background so you don’t just think that I have no idea what I’m talking about and that I’m just spatting a bunch of nonsense about how wonderful LDRs are and how anyone can make them work. Because if I did that I would be lying. LDRs truly suck 99% of the time and not every couple is cut out for them. But there’s also that 1% that happens that makes them so rewarding. Your relationship has to have a special level of trust, complete honesty, a unique friendship, and most of all, you have to be able to go long periods of time without seeing the one you love, and you HAVE TO accept it and make the best of the cards you were dealt.
Now some back story about my relationship and how it turned into a LDR. Brandon is a baseball player and sometimes that takes him other places that are not where I am. Well actually, not sometimes, most of the time it takes him other places. Three weeks ( I’m not even sure if it was that long) after meeting him, Brandon had to go to Wisconsin for three months. I wasn’t even his girlfriend yet, but I knew I had something special with him and wasn’t about to just let it go. I had been with enough ‘frogs’ in my short 18 years of dating life and wasn’t about to let this amazing guy slip away. I know that sounds young but TRUST ME, I can now say, at 21, that I know what I’m talking about.
Summer 2012: So, he asked me to wait for him while he was gone and I did. We couldn’t Skype or FaceTime because most of the time he was either on a bus or was playing. So I never actually saw him during that time(besides the cute selfies he would send me while on the bus 🙂 ) But he texted me whenever he wasn’t on the field and called me every single day. There was a period of 5 days when he was in Canada and I had no contact with him whatsoever and I thought I would lose my mind haha. But because all we could do was talk, we became best friends. We knew everything about each other; good and bad. And because of this honesty and communication, we had a connection that I don’t know if we would have had without those three months of just getting to know each other.
Fast forward– he comes home after the three months and we spend the next (school) year together. (In the same place)
Fast forward– summer of 2013: B has to leave again to go to Wisconsin. We had been together over a year now and had already done LD so there wasn’t much concern. But this time I did visit him about a month in. But before he left, Brandon got an offer to play in So Cal, and knowing this was a dream offer for him, I was nothing but supportive and happy for him. This was a new exciting chapter in our life and I was going to embrace it. Of course after crying. 🙂 So not only was he gone that whole summer but he was leaving in late August to move south.
September 2013: Brandon moves and I stay here at home working on my degree. At this point we had done LD for about 6 months so far. Was I worried? Hell yes!! Did I think we couldn’t make it through? No. I knew that we would make it work somehow because to us, there was no other option. No, “should we stay together?”, no, “how will we make it work?”. We just knew that somehow we would. And people questioned us and thought we would break up but I didn’t listen to that.
And now having been doing LD for about 2 years (with short breaks of Brandon being home and me going to visit him) I can say that we are stronger and happier than ever. LD prepares you and helps you learn patience (which I still lack haha), dedication, and work ethic, among so many other things. We work hard every day at our relationship. And don’t get me wrong it’s not all rainbows and mermaids. There are days when I come home from a long day at work and school and burst out in tears because I just need him. But then I hear his voice on the phone and he calms me down and I feel a bit better. Sure it would be nice to have him with me all the time like a normal relationship, but who wants a ‘normal’ relationship? I want all-consuming, can’t live without each other, butterflies every time I see you kind of love. And that’s what I have. I’m not going to settle for some mediocre guy that’s just around and convenient. And neither should any of you.
And I know that when the time comes when B moves home or we are together, wherever that may be, I will appreciate it so much more because I know how valuable time is. And not many people can say that.
So don’t settle for convenience, stability, or normal– just like Carrie Bradshaw would say, “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-eachother love.”
I know this post was super long but I hope you guys liked it and please comment below any questions you may have and I am more than happy to answer them or offer any kind of advice that I can give.
Know your self-worth, and appreciate his.