Surviving a Breakup

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ATTENTION:  SORRY ABOUT THE OVERHAUL OF TEXT AND RAMBLING IN THIS POST:)
Now, I know what you’re thinking by the title of this post.  And no, Brandon and I did not break up.  Haha just the opposite actually.  That man makes me the happiest that I have ever been in my life and I couldn’t imagine being without him.  But before I met this wonderful man, I did go through my fair share of breakups.  And because of some events that have occurred recently to some people very close to me, it got me thinking and I thought I’d share some insight with you.  Just a little foreshadowing here:  I know I can come off a bit harsh.  Trust me, my mother tells me all the time.  But I’m going to be real with you guys and this is how I would be with my own friends.  I’m not going to sugar coat it.  This is your life and you can’t tip toe around your feelings and knowing what you want.  Also, I know these tips will not work for everyone which is why I’ll be saying “most” a lot.  Every relationship is different and every person is different.  But in my years of dating, this is what I have learned. (And I’ve learned these things from making many mistakes along the way; so I know what I’m talking about). So here are 5 tips to surviving a breakup.

DO NOT TALK TO THEM

Unless your planning on getting back together, and I will discuss this in my next tip, do not have any contact with your ex.  Don’t text, Instagram, call, Snapchat, email, show up at their house in the middle of the night, stalk them, or any other form of communication you could be thinking of using. Yes, I know it can be hard.  Especially if you aren’t the one who initiated the breakup.  I know you are heartbroken and sometimes all you want to do is see their name pop up on your phone, but all this will do is set your recovery back even further.  If you have ended a relationship with someone, every day is a battle but every day is also a new chance to be a happier you.  And every day you get stronger and it gets easier.

IF YOU WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER

Referring back to the first sentence in my first tip.  Normally, my motto is that if you broke up, you broke up for a reason. And most of the time those reasons will still be there if you try to get back together.  He/she may say that things will change and blah blah blah, but most of the time they don’t.  They may change for a little while, but people are who they are and those reasons will come right back up.  But if you break up and still want to get back together, my number one rule is to make them work for it.  Don’t go crawling back to them after they hurt you.  Make them show you that things have actually changed and that getting back together is the best thing for the both of you.  And if this is the case, I do recommend taking some time apart to really evaluate what you want and what would be different (both positive and negative) in your life if you stayed broken up or got back together.Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 1.28.03 PM.png

KEEP BUSY

I can not stress this enough.  Sitting in your room and watching sappy movies and feeding your face with ice cream may sound great to you right about now.  And sometimes you need a day of that and I completely understand.  But after that, get off your butt, stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something.  Because lord knows he is!  He is not sitting at home waiting for you to call while eating a half-gallon of ice cream and watching gossip girl.  He’s out with his friends or at the gym or at a bar.  Who knows?  Not you! And who cares?!  Get up and get busy.  Call up your girlfriends, take a shower, and look hot.  Go out on the town and have a great time.  Because guess what?  You deserve to.  There are so many things you can do to fill your time and your brain with happy thoughts and endorphins.  I’m not saying to go out and get drunk and hook up with some random guy.  That’s not going to make you feel better.  By all means, flirt away and get some attention from that hot stranger at the bar.  But leave it at that.  You don’t need to go home with him in order to feel better. Go on a hike, take a yoga class, hang out with your family, go see a movie.  The possibilities are endless.  But just get up and do it.  You’d be surprised at how quickly you forget what made you so upset after you’ve been busy for a few hours.

WORK OUT

Now this might not be for everyone, but it should be.  We have all heard of the revenge body.  And let me tell you there is nothing better.   Go to the gym and have a killer workout, go for a run, whatever you like to do for fitness.  Not only will you be building a better body to stick a big F U to your ex (not that this is about him.  This is about you, but looking hot doesn’t hurt either) but exercise gives you endorphins and endorphins make you happy.  I feel like Elle Woods saying that, but it’s so true.  Breaking a sweat, and maybe even getting out a bit of aggression will have you feeling better in no time.

STAY OFF OF SOCIAL MEDIA

This may be one of my most important tips, especially for our generation.  Please, for the love of god, do not be tweeting all off our emotions, Instagramming a sad selfie, or snap chatting every 5 seconds.  Just stay off of social media all together, at least for a few days.  And once you do go back on, keep your breakup and your emotions to yourself.  Because when your tweeting how you “trusted him” or “I’m the best you ever had” and all of the other nonsense I see on Twitter, all it does is make you look desperate.  I’m sorry to say it and most of you won’t want to hear it but it does.  I know your thinking “well I want him to know how I feel and be indirect and people won’t really know what I’m talking about.”  Guess what?  They do!  Your tweets are not hard to decode and he and everyone else will see right through them and see you as the wounded bird who just wants attention.  And that’s not what you want.  If you need to let out some emotion, talk to someone close to you that you trust.  Or start journaling.  I have found this works really well for me.  I can let all of my emotions out and hold nothing back without the fear of being judged by someone else.  And sometimes it feels good just to get those thoughts out of your brain and on to something real.
Well, now that I’m fully done rambling, I’ll end it there.  I hope this helped some of you and please don’t hesitate to comment or email me with any questions you have.  I’m so happy to hear from you guys and love to hear what you have to say.  Talk to ya soon!
xoxo Lex