Newly Engaged… & OVERWHELMED?

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If you were like me, when I first became engaged, I was overwhelmed with all of the options and ideas and decisions, etc.  I let myself get very stressed out very quickly.  When you’re dealing with, not only what you want, but what your fiancé wants, what his family wants, what your family wants, what your friends opinions are, and everyone else who likes to chime in on your wedding plans, it can be a lot.  And it was A LOT for me.

After a few weeks of looking into venues and doing a few visits, I very quickly re-evaluated how I was going to handle planning my own wedding (I’m not hiring a wedding planner for the wondering).  I realized that the only people that I needed to satisfy and make sure were happy, were Brandon and I.  No I don’t want to directly piss anyone off, but you can’t please everyone and you won’t.  You two are the ones getting married and this day (and this process) should be all about you and your happiness.  I realized that before I discuss any new ideas, locations, etc., with anyone else, I need to discuss them with Brandon.  Then, if need be, we’ll discuss them with the other people involved.  I calmed down a bit and took a breathe.

You don’t have to make every decision right now, and the best part about this is that you have a partner who’s going to be by your side supporting you through it all. (Or at least you should)  Isn’t that the point of all of this?  To marry your best friend, and partner that’s going to do just that for the rest of your life.  You have to realize that you and your fiancé are a team, not opposing sides.  You have to get on the same page for any of this to run smoothly.  Yes, there will be things you disagree on, but that’s when something wonderful happens.  Say it with me… COMPROMISE.  This is something you are going to have to do for the rest of your life, so the more you practice it before you’re husband and wife, the better. So, with that said, here are a few of my tips to starting to plan your own wedding.

BUY A WEDDING PLANNING BINDER

My naani bought me this wedding planner binder and it has been such a big help in keeping me organized and even suggesting and reminding me of things that I hadn’t even thought of yet. 

DECIDED ON AN ESTIMATED GUEST COUNT

I knew right away that I did not want some over the top guest count of everyone Brandon and I (and our parents) have ever known.  I want it to be smaller and more intimate and consist of the people who mean the most to him and I and our future.   Also, this is YOUR wedding, not your parents or grandparents.  Yes, there are friends of your parents that are important in your lives and want to invite.  But your wedding is not the time for them to show you off to all of their friends.  And they need to remember that.  If they aren’t important to you and/or your fiancé, why are they being invited? Now because he has such a large family, I have to take that into consideration, but with that said, I’m still hoping to keep the guest count low. 

DECIDE ON A LOCATION (& a few backups that you also love in case of budgeting)

Initially Brandon and I both had our hearts set on a certain area to get married.  After looking at the numbers and the cost it would be to get married there, we re-evaluated.  But because we didn’t put all of our eggs in one basket, we weren’t that discouraged.  We just continued our search in other beautiful areas and ended up falling in love with a venue, somewhere that we hadn’t expected. 

FIGURE OUT A BUDGET

My parents kind of did this for me, which was nice.  They were very generous with their budget but with that said, weddings are now a business and an industry, and people will try to nickel and dime you for every little thing. (Like a $4 a slice, cake cutting fee!– yes, this was from one of our venue visits and did not include the cost of the cake) Figuring out your budget early, will help eliviate stress from the get-go.  if you and your fiancé are paying for the wedding, figure out what your comfortable with.  Look at your savings for the wedding, in addition to both of your salaries and what is a reasonable amount to spend.    

DECIDE ON A TIME OF YEAR

Pick a season that you’d love to get married in.  By choosing a season and not a specific month or date, you keep yourself from being crushed if certain dates are already booked. Also, note that in different places, different seasons can vary in cost. 

PICK YOUR WEDDING PARTY

see my previous post  

BE FLEXIBLE

Don’t limit yourself by making quick decisions or hard limits.  Things happen, especially when planning such a big day in your life.  Be flexible and have a back up plan or choice for pretty much everything.  Don’t limit yourself to one idea or one venue, because there are so many options. Know that no matter what, the day will be beautiful and perfect because you’re marrying the love of your life and that’s truly all that matters.  

HAVE A PINTEREST BOARD TO HOUSE ALL YOUR IDEAS

I have a few.

FIGURE OUT YOUR PRIORITIES

 Realize what is important to you and your fiancé on  your day.  Yes, having your best friends and family around you in a wonderful location is important and a priority.  Having a 6 foot ice sculpture may not be.  Ya catch my drift here people?

HAVE FUN

Most importantly, remember that this is such a special time in your life and in your relationship and you should be enjoying every step of the way. 

I hope these tips helped you guys a bit and please let me know any ideas for posts that you’d like me to do regarding anything wedding (or whatever else) related.

xoxo Lex

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